The · Affected · Provincial’s · Almanack

Per bricology's request:

Each player of this game starts off with 10 weird things/habits/little-known facts about yourself. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 10 weird habits/things/little-known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end you need to choose 10 people to be tagged and list their names.

1) I tried out for little league baseball when I was in first or second grade, but I would instead busy myself with bulding sand castles when I should have been playing short stop; I would placidly watch the balls roll by while the coach screamed at me. I joined up for the snappy uniforms, but once I found out that "home run king' was not a position, I quit. I still have a great throwing arm, last I checked.

2) I can cast two fully baited crab traps simultaneously with both hands--a skill I picked up as a young bay rat.

3) I've visited more Mayan cities than most ancient Mayans.

4) I was never baptized or christened, and was not raised in any religious tradition; I never attended a church service until I fell in love with an Irish Catholic girl in college. Church services still make me uncomfortable and irritable--especially christenings and confirmations, which I cannot help but to regard as an obscenity.

5) A humpback whale once cleared his blowhole in my face.

6) I used to build giant wall-mounted totems to the sea. In my house are two seven foot-tall "abyssal kites", each of which took me a month to make. I'm moving at the end of the month, and I am planning to plant them at certain locations near the ocean to be found by locals. Anyone want them? They're free. Interested parties may enquire.

7) I used to be a pole vaulter in my teens, and had a couple poles break on me during mid-jump. I was nearly impaled on one occasion.

8) I've had numerous close calls with skin cancer--hence, the hats.

9) Three years ago, I helped an elderly woman who fell down a flight of stairs onto her face in my favorite Philly cafe; her brow was cut and bleeding heavily, and a pool of blood was forming around her head. I ordered the young, stunned waitstaff to get cloth napkins, water and ice. I wiped the blood from her hands before she could see them, chatted with her to keep her focused, and cracked a couple jokes to calm her and her ladyfriends. The EMTs soon arrived and whisked her away. I went to the bathroom to wash the blood off my hands, but couldn't grip the faucet very well because my hands were shaking.

10) At one time I seriously considered joining the Coast Guard, and still harbor a desire to become a volunteer fireman. I almost left graphic design in my mid-twenties to become a florist.

Any takers?

Like Puxatawney Phil, I will emerge from my winter burrow and greet the lights and crowd today. I'll be doing a short reading at the campus bookstore this evening around 6:30, then at 7:45 I will do another reading at the Wildflower Cafe. See you all tonight; between Phil and I, we just might get that early spring after all.

~W